Through the years I have spray tanned thousands of people. A lot of them, celebrities- which you think would be really memorable, but I actually forget A LOT. Especially pre instagram when you couldn't just scroll down a few years to see what you were up to. Most of my clients I see regularly, but there are a lot of people who will only tan for events or when they are in LA for a visit or job.
Ill wake up to a random text message from my mom saying "Remember when you spray tanned Marcia Brady?" Ill be like, I did?! Oh yea!
The other day my husband was watching boxing, and the camera panned over to Oscar De La Hoya sitting in the arena and I thought to myself ..oh I spray tanned that guy like 10 years ago!
Anyways, today on the "On This Day" feature facebook has, I was reminded of yet another cringeworthy story, and this was only a year or 2 ago. I am going to share it because I got so many messages about how much you guys enjoyed reading my last spray tan fail blog post.... Ha! Thanks y'all!
I got a call for a tan in Calabasas. LA>>Calabasas is a horrendous drive at rush hour, but luckily I have a pretty big clientele over there and when one of them books I can usually get the others to jump on board to save me several trips that week.**insert praising emoji hands**
I have to leave extra early, because not only do I have the long drive, but once I arrive I have to get through security which is usually a pain in the ass, especially if it's your first visit with a "high profile" client. I arrive to this enormous, gorgeous home. I ring the door bell, wait, knock a little, text assistants like 20 times, wait a little more and then finally a giant scary man lets me in and immediately disappears. It's fine, this is how it goes.
I am alone in this massive, silent, hollow-esque home lobby with all my bags and equipment, and I hear someone yell "YAY JADE! Come upstairs to the 3rd bathroom on the right". I look over to the staircase that has approx 9,000 twirling stairs and start the trek (and this is where I would insert the upside down smiling face emoji). Where is that big dude who let me in?? This walk was so terrible- not because I was out of breath but because I was SO. LOUD. Every step I took I was clanking and echoing with all my crap. At one point someone opened a door and just looked at me for a second and then shut the door again. When I finally made it to the bathroom (size of Walt Disney World) the same voice said, "You can set up right there, and Ill be there in a few minutes".
While I was setting up, one of the housekeepers came in to put some towels away. I popped open my tent and I didn't realize how low the chandelier was hanging, and knocked a freakin crystal OFF it and across the bathroom. Keep in mind this is so many years later than the last story about my demon tent, I am an absolute pro with it at this point, and this was a freak accident. I looked over at the house keeper whose face turned ghost white, she sprinted across the bathroom literally hurdling over toilets and vanities, grabbed the crystal and shoved it in one of her towel drawers before my client walked in.
I have no idea if anyone ever found out about this, all I know is that the house keeper is MY GURL. If you knew who this home belonged to, this story would be 1 billion times better.. so use your imagination, Daahhhhling.